Terra Dasha

Biography: Terra was just a young girl in Surna, and she loves nature. Her mother didn't like this, she said that the outside world was dangerous, but her father was fine with it, even joined her on some hikes. Terra is a very outdoorsy woman, taking hikes, Sitting by the river, and practicing her sword skills in the forest by herself and with her father almost every day since she was 15. At age 18 her father gave her a steel sabre, from that point in time she began to spend most of her time hunting animals for food. She is now 27, making money by taking small jobs like cleaning mugs, selling meat, and helping people in anyway. She has slowed down form her, always out in the open lifestyle, but still spends a lot of time in the forest..
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Race: Human
Gender: Female
Age: 27
Diety: Tyr
Allignment: Good
Birthplace: Surna
Relationships: Mother- Liked
Father- Loved
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Equipment: Engraved Steel Sabre
Abiltities: Good Agility
Common Knowlage of Swordwork, everything she knows was taught by her father.

Weaknesses: Not building up her strength, she lacks in endurance and strength.
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PICTURES

Clothing: http://www.everquest2.com/images/en/features/articles/marketplace/2011/052011/mara_clothing_red.jpg JUst the red one.

Weapon: http://gandalf.hit.uib.no/non/echt/budapest/Selfrepr/thm/sabre.jpg

Face: http://wwwdelivery.superstock.com/WI/223/1558/PreviewComp/SuperStock_1558-01148.jpg

well, definitely a WIP.

I'm afraid we don't like to hand out the 'almost mastered' skill level out, and furthermore, the skill bars don't tell us a whole lot without some description or comparison of abilities, they're only meant as a visual aid, nothing more.

but, y'know, I've seen you make a few apps. Clearly, you know how to put together a character, but you've made several somewhat carelessly, and I don't mean that to insult you, I'm trying to help you find your weakness.

Do this.

Take this character. Look at every feature you have there. Consider this: "Can I add more detail?"

^ repeat that until you feel like you could not add more detail. After that, consider: "Am I missing any dimensions to this character?"

By that, I mean, personality, history, accomplishments, property, titles, occupation, factional alignments, all those traits and factors are additional dimensions of a character that can shape and decide who this person is.

So go do that, and then I'll give you a proper judgement, because this thing up there is not a character, really, she's more like a figment or a concept, a few ideas collected together that don't form anything; you need to flesh her out some more.

And, I think this advice here is the best piece of advice I can give you, not just for this character, but all of the characters you've worked on since you've come to Aeria, because they've all had problems like that. Really, really think about these people. Give it your all to figure them out. You won't regret it.

I do believe this has been posted in the wrong location.
If you have questions, concerns, comments, or insults feel free to add one of us on Steam.

Well Kain, there isn't much more to add, like most characters, they were born outside of Surna, but Terra was, removing the need to give a reason to come to Surna, or a reason to leave the land they were born in.

Quote :

At age 18 her father gave her a steel katana

Whilst I have nothing against barebones character pages, I must bring up the ever-recurring point that someone in Sanctimonia is highly unlikely to have such a weapon, which ICly comes from a very far off part of the world and even there isn't intended for combat.

I'd recommend just changing it to a nice conventional sword, or anything else really. Just- no japanesey things. Unless of course you have a very good and logical story as to how it was acquired, but I doubt it'd be worth the effort. :3

Talk to me on SF. I will attempt to help you flesh out your character. In fact, I can probably make a character to help this character become a better sword fighter ICly. Everyone knows this town needs a fighting teacher to teach the young'ns to fight properly.

By the way, practicing fighting alone is not nearly as effective as learning to fight with a partner. Solo practice is usually just learning forms that one already knows, such as stances and flourishing the blade. A partner is needed for proper combat training with a sword or other melee weapon.

This needs a lot more detail, to be honest. It lacks a logical flow and all of the silly-nilly stuff. And being an, "outdoorsy person" isn't an ability. It'd be something more along the lines of a character personality part.

Krug wrote:

Quote :

At age 18 her father gave her a steel katana

Whilst I have nothing against barebones character pages, I must bring up the ever-recurring point that someone in Sanctimonia is highly unlikely to have such a weapon, which ICly comes from a very far off part of the world and even there isn't intended for combat.

I'd recommend just changing it to a nice conventional sword, or anything else really. Just- no japanesey things. Unless of course you have a very good and logical story as to how it was acquired, but I doubt it'd be worth the effort. :3

Well I was trying to think up the name for the sword on here that is similar to the Katana but I couldn't think of it, so I just put katana

A rapier would be more befitting of a young lady.

BTW to everyone, the Pictures to get a better view of everything about her, her clothing( I might add a casual clothing set) her weapon, and what she looks like.

That doesn't change my opinion at all. Sorry. Plus, practicing your sword skills by yourself doesn't make you good at anything... Could you clarify what she practiced against?

I am going to throw a denied based on the general lack of thoroughness. I don't care if it is short, but I have no reason to think your character should have any ability based off what you have given. Perhaps if you take away her combat skills and have her learn IC or something of that nature, I would be more willing to give an accept. 'tis not the case with the current page however.

Ask Krug for a template and fill it out completely. Then you can add extra stuff.

Help him out pwease, Kwug. =^.^=

I don't see what's so wrong with this. I think it's almost acceptable in its current state, it just needs fine-tuning.

If you want this to get accepted, here's some suggestions:
- Specify who she trained with. I'm assuming it was her father. Maybe go into detail about their relationship. And what about her mother?
- What sorts of jobs has she done throughout her life? Anything noteworthy?
- I think there was someone else who used a wakizashi. Those are more attainable than katanas in the setting, but still, you don't see them every day. You might have her go with an elven blade if you want that exotic touch.
- The nickname is kind of silly. Can you see anyone calling her "Sword"?

Munroe wrote:

I don't see what's so wrong with this. I think it's almost acceptable in its current state, it just needs fine-tuning.

If you want this to get accepted, here's some suggestions:
- Specify who she trained with. I'm assuming it was her father. Maybe go into detail about their relationship. And what about her mother?
- What sorts of jobs has she done throughout her life? Anything noteworthy?
- I think there was someone else who used a wakizashi. Those are more attainable than katanas in the setting, but still, you don't see them every day. You might have her go with an elven blade if you want that exotic touch.
- The nickname is kind of silly. Can you see anyone calling her "Sword"?

^ This. I think the page is bordering acceptable at the moment, too.

However,

wizered153 wrote:

Well I was trying to think up the name for the sword on here that is similar to the Katana but I couldn't think of it, so I just put katana

Whilst I understand that much - as I might have mentioned before its the shape of it that's the incredibly unlikely part. See the part in bold in Mun's quote.

Also if you wanted an expanded premade template like Pho mentioned, which you just have to fill in, I'd be willing to PM you it. :3

How about you take time with it, weave it into a masterpiece. All you have to do is start with a base. Guess what, this is your base. Then like Kain said you keep adding detail until no more detail can be given. Don't put too much detail, but enough to give an idea of your character and its development. I don't mind the Katana idea but it does interfere with canon. I just say that you should give it 100% work then your character will be more presentable.

Katanas (and by extension the wakizashi and tanto) do not exist in Aeria. The only exception being one character and it he carries with him a ceremonial blade that is a fundamental part of his backstory. As elitist as this may sound be, I assure you it's circumstantial.

Consider giving your character a sabre. It's a curved blade, with a single edge (much like the Katana), and it fits the period even better then most of the longswords and such people are wielding now anyway. You'll actually be adhering to the time period we're supposedly RPing in.

Otherwise, I'll go ahead and throw my accept out there for this character. The page may not be detailed, but I wouldn't ask that from a newer player, some people just aren't here to write spreadsheets. All the information we really need is here and present and I don't think we could ask for more then that.

Zaku wrote:

Katanas (and by extension the wakizashi and tanto) do not exist in Aeria. The only exception being one character and it he carries with him a ceremonial blade that is a fundamental part of his backstory. As elitist as this may sound be, I assure you it's circumstantial.

What about Kazoushu?

They don't exist in Kazoshu. Warriors in Kazoshu use a weapon more akin to a naginata called the Omomuki.

Zaku wrote:

They don't exist in Kazoshu. Warriors in Kazoshu use a weapon more akin to a naginata called the Omomuki.

I just got learned.

I guess zaku is right then. Besides, sabres are more fitting to the time period.

Alright I'll take your suggestions and try to fit them in, thanks for the help.

If you have any questions I can try to help, just add Beans.

Quote :

I don't mind the Katana idea but it does interfere with canon.

The lore is the law round these parts, maaaaan.

I can tell from reading the wreckage and breakdowns of applications. I am dreading putting mine up when it is done. Lol.

This might be changed over time, just a notifcation ahead of time.

Short, sweet, and to the point. A good basic character for the basic elements of RP. Wizered is a active player and RP's well. Accept.