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 Alexander Carver

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Alexander Carver Empty
PostSubject: Alexander Carver   Alexander Carver EmptyThu Aug 30, 2012 6:16 pm


Quote :
Full Name: Alexander Carver
Nickname(s): Wind Whisperer
- However, the name Passive Warrior, has been used a few times, from various people, The Spirit and The White Warrior.
Gender: Male
Age: 37
Race: Human
- There are no mixes within his genetics, he is purely a human.
Languages: Common.
Birthplace: The outer-forests of Sanctimonia.
- The alpine forest area, which was seen most suitable by his father and mother.
Occupation: None.
- Alexander Carver sees no opportunities from the working-class. He has never been employed.


Quote :
Hair Colour: Black
Hair Style: Short, spiky front-part, with a smoothed-out back.
Eye Colour: Light blue
- However, his eye colour is subject to change to a misty white, if he is too much pain, or near a point of fainting, due to fatigue. Though, when magic is used in a large quantity, over a period of time, his eyes will become the same misty white colour.
Skin Tone: Fair
Height: 5'11''
Weight: 163 pounds
Body Type: Mesomorph, with an athletic build.
Distinguishing Features: Eyes that shift into a hue of white, when using a large quantity of magic over a specific period of time and a short stubble beard.


Quote :
Personality: Alexander, is a very patient human being. His lifestyle, throughout his life, was one that revolved around patience. This, aided him to become more understanding of the people around him, and learn that short-fused people are less foreign than expected. He studies people. Everyone to him, has a story, or something below the surface that they bring with themselves, subconsciously or plainly out loud. Anger and frustration are intriguing as well, when he meets other people. The more likely someone is to go-off, the more he will simply observe that person, especially if the anger comes from the most minor of substances or talks.

Surprisingly, though Alexander does not have many moments of rage, or frustration. Life, to him, is exactly like his hill where the Wisp was seen, and the destruction of his entire life. He accepts things for what they are, and does not attempt to change many obstacles, only find ways to get around them, or away. His passiveness, and tranquility, are not easy to break. However, his temper can slowly climb, over weeks, and be seen through his actions, in a minor way. Though mostly, he lives outside of the common-codes of human tempers and frustration.

Alexander Carver lives purely, and without the constant worries of currency or social status. Those to him, are unneeded and from his perspective, waste time. He does not seek out role models or idols to praise for heroic deeds. To him, the person was obligated to do such a thing, or had a critical chance and succeeded. His abstract and abnormal view of the modern society, keeps his words and thoughts to himself, though. Mostly, he does not speak, unless spoken to. Within large social situations, he may not speak at all, since crowds and pressures are uncomfortable for him. His wording may be awkward, depending on how many people are around to hear him speak, so mainly, he is best with one-on-one social interactions.

Alexander, enjoys nature and natural landscapes, more than what civilization has built. He accepts what has happened to the landscape as needed for the commonwealth, yet enjoys the open plains, mountains, and clean air. His eyes see beauty in nature and a wounder of amazing and unknown things. On the downside though, this trait also made him more of a vulnerable person in small spaces with multiple people. Clearly, he has a problem with crowds due to this. His natural ways, help him see life through the eyes of an animal, or help understand their actions a tad better than the city-folks. However, he does not see this as special, only something that he has learned over the years.

Alexander enjoys learning about people and natural things, instead of the man-made creations and structures. From his perspective, that building or machine, may be gone the next day, but the people and the earth below it will naturally still be there. His deep thinking, about people and natural things, makes him yet-again not enjoy being within the cities. Though, he most-likely will learn on his own, by touching and feeling, instead of mere words. He believes that the best knowledge, comes from experience, due to that books were never a good teacher to him, in his past.

Alexander understands that he will never know everything, nor does he want to understand many things that do not interest him. However, he fears the unknown and the darkness. From the darkness, brings the unknown, within people, and within the world. Wisps, seem to attract his attention and their mystery seems to intrigue him more. They can be a light, from the darkness.

Though the dark may show no mercy, Alexander still does. People, that have darkness, may still have light in his beliefs. Given the opportunity, he will chose life over death, for these people. Though, there is no mercy out of pity, or a sense of superiority, but only that he truly sees that death is something that a person must be willing to encounter on their own, and something to be timed-out by themselves and their actions.



Skills:

The Life of Carver:

Quote :
Alignment: Good
Deity: None
Weapon: Bow and arrows, small dagger.
Apparel: Alexander is nearly always seen with a meshed green-and-brown overshirt that hangs over his brown, dirt-stained pants. Though, his shirt has Salamander plates stitched above the fabrics, in various critical areas. His brown pants are tucked into his shoes snugly. However, his mesh-green-and-brown overshirt has a hood attachment which is crudely stitched and appears to be rag-like and grass green and dirt brown cape. He also has snug, tape-covered cloth over his hands, which remain finger-less for flexibility.
Misc. Inventory:
  • An empty coin pouch that is loosely at his side.
  • An old, rusty and fire-burnt key, that hangs from a light fabric around his neck.



Last edited by Killington on Sat Sep 01, 2012 5:40 am; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : Had some more edits.)
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PostSubject: Re: Alexander Carver   Alexander Carver EmptyThu Aug 30, 2012 6:53 pm

I have to say, I very much like this. He has nicely powered abilities and spells along with a personality and mindset to fit those.
However, it would greatly benefit fro. A biography, even if just a short summary. Even without that, i'd say it's still good for my approval.
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Markka
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PostSubject: Re: Alexander Carver   Alexander Carver EmptyThu Aug 30, 2012 9:23 pm

Now just a minute!

Ara'ki is ruled by Korppikultti, especially the northen reaches which house their cathedral, Rampion. Unless he was about 200 years old, there'd be little chance of him being born in Ara'ki and not being a part of Korppikultti in some respect, either as a member, slave or food. The other thing is that the entire island is surrounded by dangerous arcane storms which make travelling in and out of the island a foolhardy errand.
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PostSubject: Re: Alexander Carver   Alexander Carver EmptyFri Aug 31, 2012 2:15 am

I have a problem with his powers, not to mention him hailing from the island of Ara'ki.

Let's begin with wisp communication. Wisps, in general, are rare to the point of being comparable to bigfoot. Many claim to have seen them, but they generally do not appear. There is no reason for him to really need the ability to speak with wisps.

Next, "wind evocation." While I don't have a problem with you being able to do it, to what extent you can do it is questionable. You are very vague as to exactly what you can do. So unless that skill is there to explain his other skills, there needs to be some better specifics. And magic is not really made more powerful based off emotions. I wish it was, but it isn't. You will have the same effectiveness whether calm or angry. Try giving us some things to let us know the limitations: duration, wind speed, size of area effected, etc. We wouldn't want you being able to suck the air out of someone's lungs all willy-nilly.

Wind Burst: the ability to knock someone over if they are off balance already. Meh. It sound fine on its own, but is not very specific as to the size. Small could mean a dog or even a cat, whereas a human would be midsized. I don't think there is a problem with it being especially effective against fire, because that makes sense and even makes it capable of being like a specialty.

The white light ability is out of place. I understand the wind part, but light and air are not exactly complementary. If you really want to have it, it could be possible that he learned a spell, but not to the point of making it so bright that it temporarily blinds people. Tone that down.

I don't know anything about whitewood. I have never seen it in the lore and never heard it mentioned by anyone. I don't care if you want to throw it into the lore, but I see a problem with the enhancement of powers it provides. Platinum is the only material I know of that conducts magic, but to carry it around in the form of a staff would be ridiculous. Not only that, it would be incredibly expensive.

I would like to see some more specifics for your ability with a bow and arrow, like how accurate he is at 50 yards. That is not necessary however.

For cooling wrap, I would like to know how fast the winds are going.

Wind razor gives me the greatest pause. Wind, in nature and even in labs, has never been able to cut stuff apart. In order to make a liquid like a solid one would have to force the atoms so close together that they would begin to actually make a solid. This would be unheard of for a mage even at the expert level. Air is more of a pushing force than a cutting force anyways. The most I see you being able to cut with an attack like this at your level is a fireball. Even then, it would be more like a baseball bat hitting a baseball. Wind be its very nature is fluid and moving. To make this acceptable, you would have to convert your powers to the manipulation of water or stone.
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PostSubject: Re: Alexander Carver   Alexander Carver EmptyFri Aug 31, 2012 3:22 am

I am also concerned by the lack of a bio.



Back to you Markka *Changes into Markka* Thanks Phoenix.
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PostSubject: Re: Alexander Carver   Alexander Carver EmptyFri Aug 31, 2012 3:39 am

PhoenixRhapsody wrote:
I am also concerned by the lack of a bio.

That comment left me confused, until I realized all of those paragraphs were about his personality.

...We don't need to know that much about his personality. That description is way, way too long. Replace it with a nice biography that describes what he's done to get here. If you want us to know his personality, show us through his actions in the RP.

And whenever an ability list is that long, I get a little uncomfortable.
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PostSubject: Re: Alexander Carver   Alexander Carver EmptyFri Aug 31, 2012 9:37 am

Another thing to note is that the Korppikultti are viciously hunting down, and either converting people to their faith, or killing them outright all throughout Ara'Ki.

If your character did happen to be born on Ara'Ki, and not be a part of the Korppikultti, they are either a part of one of the tribes on Ara'Ki still in existance, or they are in one of the few more modern settlements on Ara'Ki, established by Talibarian (if they're old), Occitan, Sidan, etc. When I say few, I mean extremely few.

Getting off or on Ara'Ki is a whole other ordeal. You're going to either need a big, and strong, enough ship to power through the storms, or some form of powerful magic to calm the magical storms for a time.
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PostSubject: Re: Alexander Carver   Alexander Carver EmptyFri Aug 31, 2012 10:19 am

Phoenix raises some very valid points, I think it'd be worthwhile to consider them, in terms of achieving a good starter character style balance.

Or just add the necessary details to justify his having certain items and abilities.

Otherwise I don't have a lot of lore input, but I do appreciate the lovely details. Admirable amount put into personality, and I await the biography :3
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PostSubject: Re: Alexander Carver   Alexander Carver EmptyFri Aug 31, 2012 12:22 pm

Added a biography, removed and changed nearly all skills, adjusted his inventory, changed homeland, removed scars, added minor apparel.

Please, feel free to comment!
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PostSubject: Re: Alexander Carver   Alexander Carver EmptyFri Aug 31, 2012 9:16 pm

And then there was a huge bio. What have you people unleashed?
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PostSubject: Re: Alexander Carver   Alexander Carver EmptyFri Aug 31, 2012 11:23 pm

My poor format, raped again.

Well fuck, why not.
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PostSubject: Re: Alexander Carver   Alexander Carver EmptySat Sep 01, 2012 3:49 am

Read through top half, no problems yet. Skipped bio for now because it's huge; I'll read that when I have additional time. I noticed a tiny thing. Please specify below:

Alignment: Good -> Lawful Good, Neutral Good, Chaotic Good? Most people go with NG if it's just 'Good'.

Trust me, it makes a difference.

On my first read-through, I have no major complaints on the powers. The wisp communication seems a bit weird to have, but honestly, it's one of the most under-powered things I've seen in a while, so I'll give it to you. Wisps themselves are not wind-spirits, fyi. I guess you could conceivably learn to interpret their sounds and changes in light, but that's not as much wind magic magic as it is skill.

Everything else seems okay. Will be back to complete my evaluation later today.
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PostSubject: Re: Alexander Carver   Alexander Carver EmptySat Sep 01, 2012 5:22 am

I've spoken at some length to Killington about this character, and I can say it is lore-accurate. The powers are balanced and original, and overall, I think this is an acceptable character.
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PostSubject: Re: Alexander Carver   Alexander Carver EmptySat Sep 01, 2012 5:37 am

Done reading it, and it was good. I don't know how tough salamanders are, but managing to kill one all by yourself is quite a feat though, I reckon. Just mentioning.

I've discussed and assisted in balancing the character with Killington and Munroe, and find it decent. And I would be willing to throw an approval your way, Killington.
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PostSubject: Re: Alexander Carver   Alexander Carver EmptySun Sep 02, 2012 6:52 am

Right off the bat, I noticed he's dealing with the actual energy of magic at the age before he even got to puberty, and that's off-setting. Sacred fields don't fully develop until later years, aka during or after puberty, and in case you were not made aware, the sacred field is the part of our lore that defines how mortals use magic. To sum it up, he couldn't do anything useful until it was ready beforehand. I'd like an explanation, but I'll ask Munroe first, since you've spoken with him.

Other than that, everything seems in order and it looks like he's ready to be moved.
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PostSubject: Re: Alexander Carver   Alexander Carver EmptyMon Sep 03, 2012 6:48 am

Y'all asked for a biography and will get a book.

Congrats guise.

I hope you are proud.
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PostSubject: Re: Alexander Carver   Alexander Carver EmptyTue Sep 04, 2012 3:13 am

I just have to say, wow. I am very happy to see so much content and input into the work of a bio. Really, that page was something else, and the music was lovely as well; I truly am fascinated and pleased by what I see in this character; however, I would like to mention there are a few points that I picked up along the way from reading the bio (as best as I could, again, wow) and app all together.

First off is something that Kain mentioned last, is that I'd heard it discussed that magic doesn't show in beings until the late teenage years at earliest; not my call, but that is the lore of the server as I've understood it. Also regarding Phoenix's posting, it does seem like magic is more controlled and less passionate; unfortunate as this is, it does hold true to the server, and may influence some of the aspects of your playing dynamic. Perhaps he works best under stress, and as such, he becomes more focused as trials weigh upon him?

I believe I am seeing a more updated version of the powers list (Wind Slice being transparent to my eyes). I feel all of them a perfectly acceptable, I don't know the lore behind wisps, but it seems Phoenix does, so you would have to take those powers up with another. I however, feel you are far into the green enough so to be perhaps allowed more; however, this is just a scrublet's opinion.

There's nothing more I can really say, other than what a magnificent application you have here. Truly, I am humbled; I can easily offer you my full acceptance, as much as it is worth. I am happy to see Alexander receive united praise, and I hope he is moved out of the Approval stage swiftly.
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PostSubject: Re: Alexander Carver   Alexander Carver EmptyThu Sep 13, 2012 7:30 am

I just noticed this hasn't been sent on its way. Well, I'll look through it, but I'm pretty sure this should be approved.
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PostSubject: Re: Alexander Carver   Alexander Carver EmptyThu Sep 13, 2012 8:56 am

Yeah, it's gotten quite the bit of accepts.
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PostSubject: Re: Alexander Carver   Alexander Carver EmptyThu Sep 13, 2012 10:39 am

Doesn't he cast magic without weaving? That's always bloody dodgy.
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PostSubject: Re: Alexander Carver   Alexander Carver EmptyThu Sep 13, 2012 10:43 am

Krug wrote:
Doesn't he cast magic without weaving? That's always bloody dodgy.

Not that most of Pho's characters have this. Planes touched or something
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PostSubject: Re: Alexander Carver   Alexander Carver EmptyThu Sep 13, 2012 10:44 am

Krug wrote:
Doesn't he cast magic without weaving? That's always bloody dodgy.

Gods and other powerful beings can sometimes grant access to spells that don't need to be "woven". His magic falls into that category, and it's rather weak besides.
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